Grumperini, Interrupted

Seriously?! Is it worth it?!

2010-01-12T16:40:00.000-07:00

3 credit hours of Plane Trigonometry twice a week for 1 hour and 15 minutes each - $231
Text book for said class - $140
Total for this insanity - $371
Amount of annual raise once I get 12 credit hours (yes, 12!) towards a masters - not even that much!

FUHUHUHUHUHUHK.

2010

2010-01-01T12:42:00.005-07:00

Another decade...poof. I really don't understand how time can possibly go by this fast. 11 short years ago the world braced itself for "the end" when all calendars, clocks, and computers clicked inexorably towards 2 0 0 0. I guess now we'll be bracing ourselves for the next "the end" - 12/21/2012. (Honestly, if that's really it, I hope I go like Woody Harrelson!)

So how many of us partied like it's 1999 last night? Those times are over for me, and now I prefer to be in bed long before the new year hits this side of the world. After a long, long, LONG day of travel back from the East coast, I decided to spend the evening with Sister and BIL. First I took a nap - I love me my naps - then we had an incredible dinner of French onion soup, potatoes gratin, steak with blue cheese compound butter; and finally two desserts, cheddar and pear galette AND chocolate bread pudding. Yes, all of it as orgasmic as it sounds. We then watched "Up," the Disney/Pixar movie. I really enjoy these movies - although I usually end up watching them at someone else's suggestion - and this one was no different. However, it is sad in parts and quite deep and multi-layered in its messages... And I prefer my NYEs to be a lot more...well...meaning-less. I did manage to make it to bed before the ball dropped (thank goodness!) and slept almost 12 hours! I feel just about human again.

So now I'm home, and after throwing out the old food from the fridge that I meant to throw out two weeks ago (eww!), dumping cleaning stuff in the pool and getting rid of the leaves, and murdering yet another (and innocent I might add) fire/smoke alarm, I have nothing left to do but procrastinate getting to the to do list. First thing to ignore? Actually creating the list. It's going to be a long one, unfortunately. And now I have to fix the hole in the ceiling that used to be an innocent alarm. Sigh.

Only 5 days until school starts, only 3 until I need to go in and deal with the classroom, report cards, planning, yaddah yaddah yaddah. I wonder if all teachers measure time as between this planning session and that report card due date? I wonder how many people did believe 2000 was "the end?" How many believe 12/21/2012 will be? And I wonder how many believe, as I do, that it's practically 2011? Seriously folks, don't blink. It'll pass THAT fast... poof.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T10:04:00.001-07:00

Last year I started a new Thanksgiving tradition; blessed blessed silence and spending it sola. I went to Boston Market, got the fixin's; and I went to Frys and got the roasted chicken. I enjoyed every moment. So I planned to do exactly the same this year. This morning, after snuggling with Bonnie a while, I went to Starbucks and had my first non-fat, grande, one-pump peppermint, with whip, mocha of the holiday season; and I went to Frys and now have a perfecly roasted, savory herb chicken keeping warm in the oven. Ahhhhh.

But I made a tactical error last night. I went shopping at the last minute to get some stuff I can't get at Frys and discovered what can only be described as a holiday miracle. Perfectly peeled and cubed, ready to go sweet potatoes? Ready to go chopped mix of onion, shallot and garlic?? Ready to go mirepoix?!?!? OMG

Somewhere a bell must be ringing because I have ready to go mirepoix. For those who don't know, mirepoix is French for the holy trinity of onions, carrots and celery. Ready to go mirepoix is French for "the you-don't-have-to-peel-cry-chop-accidentally-cut-your-now-oniony-garlicky-stinky-fingers-ever-again holy trinity." It's like the French have a word for everything.

I love the food network. I watch all the shows. I have lusted over the idea of a sous chef for years. And now I have one. I call him TJ. And I have ready to go mirepoix.

So today, Boston Market can keep their fixins. I'm making my own smashed sweet potatoes and herb dressing (yay Pepperidge Farm!) with READY-TO-GO-MIREPOIX-FOR-GOD'S-SAKE and chicken stock in a resealable container. So fuhuhuhuhuhking what if I didn't roast the bird, dry out the bread, and peel and chop and cry and cut my finger and have to use cut up lemon on the stinky and love love love cranberries in a can (it has GOT to have the ridges and shape of the can or it's just no good!) or dig innards out of a poultry's ass and brine and bake all of it myself? It's homemade 'cause I'm making it at home and 'cause I said so.

Problem is, I don't feel like fuhuhuhuhuhking cooking now. Sigh.

Since I've been gone...

2009-11-21T14:11:00.003-07:00

Palo Verde - dead and gone
Variegated agave in the front - infested, then dead, then gone
Refrigerator - dead... but revived
Car - covered in bird poop
Classroom - smells like poop (frogs, crabs, milipedes... don't ask)
Bank account - drained
Job - stressful
Job - rewarding
Job - fun
Job - stressful
Dignity - gone due to a "wardrobe malfunction" while dancing the Macarena with the kids

Miss me?

The best things in life...

2009-10-13T11:27:00.007-07:00

Chocolate in all its forms... especially dark though.
Apple cider... can't wait.
Food.
Naps. Short ones, long ones, in rainy or cold or hot weather, and right now with the wind blowing through the chimes...
Skinny dipping. I miss it.
DVRs - no commercials! - remote controls, and comfy couches.
Ceiling fans and AC.
Iced, venti, non-fat, extra whip mochas.
Texting.
Dogs.
Nieces and nephews.
Fall break. It's so nice to be kid-free right now.

If only I could be worry-free as well.

Can menopause be that far behind?

2009-09-27T09:51:00.002-07:00

So I went to Target today. I needed body soap and lotion, laundry detergent, and greeting cards for various upcoming celebrations. As I wandered through the aisles I came across reading glasses. Ha ha ha ha, I don't need those. So what if I have to hold some papers as far from my face as possible as I rotate the paper looking for just the right angle of visibility? That means nothing other than there's something wrong with the light. Anyhow. Just for fun I "put [my] toes up against the bottom shelf and read the lines." Um. +1.50, whatever that means. It's amazing what I'm not actually seeing up close.

As I stood there contemplating the fading of the bloom off the rose, the female expiration date, the Autumn of my life, I noticed the Depends and the various creams, lotions, and potions meant to ease the discomfort of old age right next to the glasses. Ugh. I had to turn and look away.

Right across from all this? Ribbed condoms. KY. Enhanced for her pleasure. Trojans. And all sorts of similar stuff. Rows and rows of it. Really? Couldn't they come up with better placement for either of these stage of life products? It was all rather depressing and ironic and satiric and funny and sad all at the same time.

But I gave in and bought the glasses. They're red with tiger stripes. Enhanced for my pleasure.

From propane to methane

2009-09-23T16:15:00.002-07:00

Ms. Grumperini, what is propane? A very good question asked today during our lit study. We had been discussing the chapter we had read last night, the narrative elements, the personal connections; and we had moved on to words we didn't recognize or understand. So I opened it up for discussion. It's a gas. It comes in those tanks you use in a gas grill. It's like gas you put in your car. Oh wait no, that's gasoline. The perfect opportunity to talk about the difference between gas and liquid and of course solid. Let's take water for instance. When it's water, it's a... liquid! Right. When it's an ice cube it's a... solid! Right! When you're boiling water and you see the steam coming off the top, that steam is... gas! Right! Oh, so like gas is like air! How do they get the gas in the tank? Why isn't gasoline a gas? Did you know that they think that there is methane gas in the Bermuda Triangle?

Uh oh. Methane gas. A student said methane. Please don't let any of the other kids have a clue what methane gas is. Snicker snicker. Uh oh. Someone knows. More snickers. Giggles. That's not appropriate (said by a student). Why? What's methane??

Uh oh. More giggles. Laughter. Fine. Methane gas is the gas that is released when someone, um, well, farts. Laughter, giggles, snickers. And it lights? Uh oh.

And then, as if I didn't have 30+ years of maturity on these kids, I find the story about one of my asinine friends who decided to see what would happen if he tried lighting his own methane coming out of my mouth. "...and he burned his butt."

That was the end of any constructive conversation about our literature study book. But they'll remember what propane and methane are; AND the difference between solid, liquid and gas.

I wonder...

2009-09-21T16:48:00.004-07:00

...should I sell everything I own and move back to VA? I wonder if I could get a job there that pays more than here...

Things are not looking good here. But afterall, everything I own is just things. I don't need any of them as long as Bonnie and I have a place to sleep. Right? A room with a bed and a place for my clothes and Bonnie's water dish. That's really all that is needed.

It may come to that. Quickly.

Balance

2009-08-30T09:28:00.002-07:00

There are two sides to every issue. How do I do this AND that AND enjoy them AND do them well? All things in moderation. Ah, the curse of the sign of the scales. Balance is an ongoing struggle for me. I'm either all or nothing, and I can't do the in between. It's 100 mph during the week, and crash and burn on the weekends. Or at least on Saturdays. I have come to hate Saturday. Yes, hate. I don't wanna do jack shit on Saturdays, and I end up tortured over this; which makes Saturdays even worse.

Perhaps I should just embrace this idea of doing nothing on Saturdays, make it ok, give myself permission. Perhaps once it's ok, I'll be free to do or not do as I so please without the added weight of blame and shame and the ensuing lethargy. And perhaps without all that lethargy and busy busy blame, I'll actually get something done AND enjoy the day?

I need to try this, this idea of making my zombie day ok. Of course, I'll have to wait a week. I already hated yesterday.

The joys of teaching

2009-08-25T04:48:00.002-07:00

Me: With your partner you're going to read about [insert whatever it was here]. Then, discuss the topic in your group, take notes, and afterwards you'll present what you learned to the class.

Kids: What? You're kidding, right?

Me: No. Evil cackle. This way you learn something, you teach it to everyone else, and then they'll know what you know.

Kids: But... present to the class? Seriously??

Me: Seriously. More evil cackling.

One 5th grader: Hey! I didn't sign up for an evil teacher!

Me: Nope. You just got lucky!

Nightmare go away!

2009-08-23T07:41:00.002-07:00

So after letting the newly charged battery run almost to the point of running out of gas, I head to the station to fill up. Praying the battery has been charged enough, I turn it off, fill up, and hemorrhage some more money. (Seriously? Almost $30 to fill up my car??) Battery dead. At the gas station. On a Sunday morning. Thank god I had enough sense to get Starbucks first. Station guy says he can't give me a jump - you're a gas station!!! if you can't who can?!?!?! Random guy in the parking lot said ok to giving me a jump, but not without a little attitude. Whateva. I got what I wanted. Am now home, with my coffee (yay), a dead car (boo), and a whole lotta work to do (hiss).

I need something else.

Broken

2009-08-23T06:57:00.001-07:00

The blender. The car battery. One of the telephones. My old TV. A desire to do anything productive. Such are Sundays. Everything is broken.

Life

2009-08-16T11:26:00.004-07:00

What a long, strange trip it's been. So far. I just got back from Target and Frys and while I was buying stuff I need, I couldn't help but think that I'm just about back to the days of ramen and dollar mac and cheese. There I was going through the aisles thinking to myself "why is food that is bad for you so much cheaper?" And as I prepared for a couple of weeks of beans and PBJ, I walked the aisles of Target wondering if I can use a little less body soap, a little less shampoo, and a lot less tp.

I'm preparing also for the inevitable - I need a roommate. Or two. At this age? Sigh. But yes.

Ah the consequences of our decisions. I sometimes wonder, still, why I left an easy job with a big salary for a hard-as-shit job with a crappy salary. I remember why when I hear "Ms. Grumperini, you're the best teacher in the world." I remember why when I know that somehow, someday, I may make a difference. At least I hope I do/will. I remember why when I feel in my gut that I was supposed to take this path for some reason. I remember why when this path was presented to me and made so easy to take. (Is that last sentence proper grammar??)

Life is strange. I make it stranger and more difficult on myself by not learning certain lessons the first - and sometimes second and third! - time around. Is that just who I am, or me refusing to learn? I don't know. I DO know I've taken the road less traveled by. I'm fairly certain too that Mr. Frost wrote that for me personally.

As he said, way leads onto way. I certainly hope that it will one day make all the difference.

Three days down...

2009-08-12T17:28:00.002-07:00

... and all is well! So far I LOVE 4th/5th grade!! Half way through the 1st day I realized that while last year I had to learn to slow down, I had better speed up or I was going to lose a few kids to the zzzzzzzz's. One of my angels came up and whispered in my ear "Is this game going to be over soon? It's getting really dull." We had barely just started! I realized at that moment that the activities I had planned for three days worth was going to last maybe one and a half days. MAYBE. Holy jaysus, the difference a year or two makes! Good thing I learned last year to over plan and how to wing it. Winging it has consisted of having the kids "learn how to use the manipulatives" (otherwise known as playing games); and doing "team building activities" (otherwise known as playing modified drinking games.) YES! Finally all those years of playing games designed to get me wasted are coming in handy! FINALLY! These modified games did more in 10 minutes for getting the kids to laugh, have fun, get to know each other, and build positive relationships than anything "official" I ever did in a team building meeting capacity. (NO! We did NOT play quarters! NO! I didn't tell them they were drinking games!)

In addition, I have tentatively assessed math levels, figured out who my speedy gonzaleses are, who my tortoises are, which are my extroverts and which are the introverts, who will be in which Spanish group, who are the talkers, the goofballs, the overachievers, the sourpusses... Tomorrow is a Spanish day, and I'll find out a lot about who will and who won't make an effort on these extra hard days.

I have a new IA this year, and she is WONDERFUL. As an intern, I got to know her several years ago, and I think she and I will be a great team. All in all, I start the new school year happy, enthusiastic, optimistic, and generally quite thrilled and very "glass half full."

Ugh Aaack Bah... and back to Aaaack

2009-08-08T06:54:00.002-07:00

Was it the same last year? This feeling of not being ready, I can't do this, what if I screw up, I don't know how to start the year, OMG what have I done, I have to work ALL weekend, ugh, aack bah! It's just first day jitters, right?! Aaack!

And so it starts!

2009-08-05T05:40:00.002-07:00

Today is the first official day of school for teachers. I have already been working for a week getting my room in shape and ready for the dreaded "Meet the Teacher" night. I don't know why I dread it... but it's right up there with "Shark Week." They both scare me to death, but I can't quite not watch/attend.

Faculty meetings, a training here and there, getting everything ready for MTTN, weird sleeping patterns and a need for a daily dose of chocolate... yep! It's back to school time.

Thus begins the prep

2009-08-01T07:07:00.003-07:00

I officially start work on 8/5, but the work has already begun in earnest. I've been in my classroom for the past 3 or 4 days, moving tables, chairs, and cabinets; going through and setting up text books for easy access; trying to figure out the best way to set up tables for the kids. I am bruised and battered. I still have to put stuff on the walls, I still have to go through mounds and mounds of stuff left me from the previous teacher (and thank goodness he did leave me this stuff!!), I still have to set up my desk, create forms, plan for the first week of school, and figure out how to say "build an electrical current" and "closed polygon" in Spanish (among other such phrases).

The plan is to have all that hard physical labor done by Sunday so that BIL can help me put stuff on the walls (I can't reach and he's TALL). I will be bribing him with breakfast, lunch or dinner - truly I couldn't do it without his help. Then Monday and for the rest of next week, I can focus on curriculum, and those forms and plans.

I think the official start for teachers should be a week earlier than scheduled. We need that time to set up - no way I could make it in time if I came in on the actual start date!! Meet the Teacher night is next Thursday for christ's sake! The kids start a week from Monday! It would be impossible. And we should get paid for it. It is all a part of creating a successful learning environment!

So here I am, up early (not as early as during the school year though!), steeling myself for the work day ahead. I need a fortifying smoothie and a shower and some ibuprofen and a mocha. And maybe a game or two of farkle and/or canasta before I'm fully ready.

Time to make the donuts.

Where I've been... and where I'm going

2009-07-26T09:09:00.037-07:00

I never would have thought that I'd go this long without writing at least something. I guess where I've been and what I've been doing has been rather all consuming. Right after summer school ended, I headed to VA to visit with Brother and his family and to help out with Mom and Dad. Each day I'd head over to their condo to help out in whatever way I could - make lunch or dinner, help mom with her therapy exercises, play cards, chores around the house, etc. Mom is getting better, but the process is slow and sometimes difficult. I can't imagine what it must be like for her having to re-learn to walk, talk, eat, breathe - all those things we take for granted. How frustrating and maddening! But I now know how difficult it is for Dad having to do all those things that she once did and helped out with, on top of having to take care of her, make sure she gets to doctors, make sure she takes her medicine, and does her exercises, and doesn't fall down, etc, etc, sometimes with no one around to help. Also frustrating and sometimes maddening!

Then each night I'd head back to Brother's to spend time with my niece and nephew. Both angels, both red heads, both so different from each other in every way down to the color of the red in their hair. They don't particularly like it, but they let me smooch them as much as I wanted. Sorta.

Brother and Nephew followed me back here to AZ the day after I got back. In the week they were here we went camping and watched an old west shoot out in Williams, AZ, took a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon, went on a 3 hour jeep tour of Sedona, and visited the Haunted Hamburger in Jerome on our way back to Gilbert. We hit the Arizona Science Center where we watched an IMAX movie on black holes in the planetarium, and the Arizona Museum of Natural History where Nephew and I panned for gold. The rest of the time we spent swimming, watching movies, chillin' and eating.

Speaking of movies and food, as I look back on the past four weeks, I realize I have watched A LOT of movies, read A LOT of books, and eaten A LOT of incredibly good food. And I mean A LOT. I must make you a list.

Books I read
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, J.K. Rowling

Dead Until Dark, Charlaine Harris
Living Dead in Dallas, Charlaine Harris

The Witch of Portobello, Paulo Coelho
The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

I am completely hooked by Harry Potter right now. Yes, where have I been, but better late than never! I find myself calling people "muggles" and blasting away dementors with my own special patronus. I mean, wouldn't it be great if you actually could blast away the ick of day-to-day life with an impassioned "EXPECTO PATRONUM" and a bite or two of chocolate?? The 'Dead' series is the one that inspired the HBO series "True Blood." I LOVE me some vampires! I have quite a few more to read in the series and I'm looking forward to each one. The books by Paulo Coelho are amazing. I look forward to reading all of his books as well. If you're into spiritual principles, and prefer your spirituality in creative, imaginative, enjoyable fable and novel format, these are the books for you. He doesn't preach. He merely tells a story that, I'm quite sure, will fit your life as if it was written for you.

Movies I watched
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Gran Torino - an AMAZING movie by the AMAZING Clint Eastwood
Bottle Shock - a fun movie about the wine industry in Napa before it was NAPA
Elf - because who doesn't love Will Ferrell?
Bedtime Stories - because who doesn't love Adam Sandler??
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - What an interesting premise! How would you live life if you lived it backwards?
Public Enemies - Johnny Depp. Need I say more?
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Star Trek

The list is in no particular order and are a mix of kid friendly and adult only ratings. (Not THAT kind of adult only!) I enjoyed each and every one of these movies tremendously. I would recommend them all!

Food I ate - ah, the food!
Mango Lassi - While with M&D I decided to try my hand at making one of my favorite Indian treats. I have not yet perfected this yogurt and mango "shake," but I will!
Coctel de camarones - This is my own spin, my own recipe that I created by mixing 4 different recipes I found on the net, of a Mexican classic. It continues to be my favorite hot weather meal since there is no cooking and it lasts forever.
Salad Nicoise - I also have my own spin and recipe of this classic, and I love it. Hmmm. It could be what's for dinner tonight!
Huevos Rancheros - Another Mexican classic. My mom wanted some, she currently can't cook, so I tried my hand. I need practice, but it was delicious anyhow!
Peanut Butter Banana Smoothies - A smoothie on the list of yumminess? Yes, when Brother makes it, yes!
Ribeye/Prime Rib - OMG. Brother got it in his head one night to grill this amazing cut of beef (don't ask me exactly what cut because I'm not really up on cow parts.) It was thick, it was grilled to perfection, and it was amazing. All we ate with it was broccoli. Nothing else was needed.
Rolls and coffee - Brother and I have a tradition. We go for Vietnamese rolls - cha gio - and coffee (slow drip, condensed milk, luxurious) every chance we get. I've gone on my own when I need a pick me up, but it's not quite as good without Brother there!
Famous Dave's BBQ Nachos - my friend, I'll call her Vietnamese Puma (don't ask me why!), and I love to go to Famous Dave's. This time around we tried the nachos, and let me tell you, chips with BBQ pork, baked beans, coleslaw and other, more traditional nacho fixins... as crazy as it sounds... oh soooo good! Try it!
Bassetts Ice Cream - Thanks to one of my favorite cousins who sent a care package of about 7 pints of Bassetts ice cream to my parents. It was gone in days!

So those are the highlights of my trip to VA. The rest of this list is what I had just in the last week while Brother and Nephew were here. Let me preface this by saying Brother and BIL are both foodies, so... I'll let the list speak for itself.

Huevos Rancheros at Old Smoky's in Williams, Arizona. So good I had them twice!
Campfire Dinner - Seared scallops with red pepper sauce, grilled corn salad, and dark chocolate s'mores. Yeah.
Campfire Breakfast - Bacon, sausage, hash browns, blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs, cowboy coffee. Uh huh.
Cafe Mocha and berry crisp - at Macy's in Flagstaff, AZ. Great joint in a great college town.
Calamari - after a long day at the Grand Canyon and a gorgeous ride through Oak Creek Canyon to Sedona we were ready for a casual, quick dinner. Turns out Pago's Pizza has INCREDIBLE calamari!
Cafe Mocha - Breakfast at Desert Flour, across the street from our hotel in Sedona, with a view of Bell Rock. Delicious with a breakfast croissant of spinach and feta!
Cheddar Burger - At the Haunted Hamburger in Jerome, AZ. The actual haunted hamburger has bacon, green chili, guacamole, cheese and a ton of other things so I didn't order one of those. Brother did, and it looked amazing. Equally amazing were the onion rings!
Pollo Relleno - We met up with an old friend from high school in Geneva for dinner while Brother was here. Padres bills itself as "modern Mexican cuisine." Who cares? The guacamole, queso fundido con chorizo and main courses were delicious!
The Final Dinner - As I said earlier, Brother and BIL are foodies. Brother was in the mood to cook and create and so was BIL for Brother's final night in Gilbert. The result was nothing short of spectacular, and worthy of any Iron Chef. Grilled swordfish and shrimp ceviche, plantain and chorizo 'sliders,' grilled tri-tip with a sugar spicy rub, grilled potatoes, a roasted red pepper sauce and chimichurri, and bananas foster for dessert. I wish we had taken pictures. Everything from ingredients to execution to presentation was perfect. Apparently the wine was amazing too, but as I do not partake I can't speak to it. But judging from the oohs and aahs, it was spectacular too.

That pretty much sums up the last four weeks of my life. I got to see a lot of friends, but didn't see many others. I read a lot, caught up on movies, and had many spectacular meals. As I look back on all of these wonderful memories I realize I don't yet want to turn around to see what's coming. School starts shortly. Very shortly. I'm not ready. There is too much to do yet to be ready. Things to clean, things to sort, things to file, attitude and mentally to adjust... I'm not ready.

So for at least another day I'll continue to look backward and enjoy the view.

I'm here...

2009-07-23T08:19:00.001-07:00

...just...occupied. If there's anyone at all still checking after this long absence, I'll be back. Eventually.

Can I say "ass?"

2009-06-26T09:11:00.004-07:00

Summer school is over!!!! Yay!!!! Yesterday was the last day, and it was a doozy! We finished up with geometry (love it!!), and then spent the rest of the day making collages of geometric shapes. At least, that was the general idea. Partner Teacher and I were so ready for it all to be over that we let them do pretty much what they wanted. "As long as it includes shapes." Have to be somewhat teacher-ish, right?

Anyhow, as most classes do, we had three... um... challenging students. These three had terrible attitudes, they were rude, and they were disrespectful to everyone around them. By the end I had gotten through to them - somewhat - however, and let them know they couldn't pull any crap with me. I even met one mom yesterday. Yep, on the eve of the last day I called to let her know exactly how her son had been behaving. She showed up yesterday and made her son apologize and acknowledge his behavior. I was very impressed. He was furious. But I don't care. Later on I was shocked at the way he spoke about his mother. This is a 5th grader! It was awful. Even worse, he said his dad was "very cool." His dad is in jail for the 4th time. I fear for this child; I hope his wonderful mom's influence can overcome the path he is on.

Towards the middle of the morning, Partner Teacher had a discussion with one of the other three. She told him that if he did not amend the way he treated other kids, that older kids may not "react in a way that is very pleasant" for him. She is a lot nicer and proper than I am. I kept him in the classroom at the end of the day and gave it to him straight. "Partner Teacher is a lot nicer than I am. What she was trying to say is that if you continue to treat kids the way you do, eventually someone is going to kick your ass. And you're going to be very upset, but you're going to deserve it. You may laugh at what I just said, but it's true. Stop treating people the way you do. I do not want to see you get hurt; I am trying to save you from getting an ass kicking. It's up to you."

Later on, he told the other kids "Ms. Grumperini said 'ass'." God I hope he got more out of the conversation than that.

Truth Time

2009-06-20T09:00:00.003-07:00

Embarrassing, mortifying, ridiculous, OMG I-can't-believe-I'm-about-to-admit-this time. I have become an irrevocable, rival-Garth-mania level, full-blown "glambert." I troll websites, I google, I adore from afar. I LOVE HIM.

Effin' ridiculous! I'll spare you the urge to insert pictures and links and effuse effusively. (But I'm doing those things daily!) Effin' ridiculous!

Oops!

2009-06-19T11:53:00.002-07:00

So I'm running around making pico de gallo for my guacamole, packing a bag, making sure I have my dress ready - oh, I'm going to a wedding and I'm taking all that stuff with me - and I decide to put my dress in a dress bag and hang it in the car so I don't forget it. Of course I'm doing all this nekkid 'cause I was about to get in the shower when I decided to do all this stuff first. Anyhow, I'm nekkid, and I decide to hang my dress in the car. I turn on the light and go to the car to hang it up. As it's getting light in the garage I realize... OOPS! I didn't turn on the light so much as open the garage door.

Hello world!

One week to go

2009-06-18T17:29:00.003-07:00

Only four more days of teaching summer school after today. We're on to Geometry - which I love - and today we also had the kids make Father's Day cards. One angel said something to the effect of "I'm done and I'm bored." Luckily for him I had put extra practice on simplyifing fractions (which shockingly they can't do because shockingly they can't do multiplication or division, even after several years) on the board. "If you're so bored, get started on those." He was furious. I was undaunted and relentless. He called me a "super villian." I loved it. You can't out-stubborn or out-grumpy me, whatever your age.

Someone once asked me if I wanted to be right and win or if I wanted to be happy. "I'm happy when I'm right and when I win," I replied.

The Nutcracker? Really?

2009-06-11T13:56:00.001-07:00

Is that what you expect to hear when you're on hold with the IRS?

Weather Weirdness

2009-06-10T05:56:00.004-07:00

I promised myself I wouldn't write an entry about weather. Too mundane, too small-talkish, too who-really-gives-a-crap. But after last night, I just can't hold off. The weather has been weird. It's June and for the last week (two weeks?) we haven't seen 100 degrees. It's been in the 90's - the low 90s - since around Memorial Day! And it's been breezy. Coolish and breezy. I've had the doors and windows open more often than not! And the pool? The water hasn't yet reached 80 degrees. It's been a bracing/refreshing 75ish - which I love, but most others don't - and that NEVER happens in June. None of this ever happens in June! I love it, it's beautiful, but it's weird.

But the weirdest was last night. It was incredibly windy, and I kept checking outside to make sure that my umbrellas hadn't ended up in the pool or taking flight into a window (or javelining someone a la The Omen). They hadn't, but I kept hearing suspicious noises as if things were flying around and hitting things, so I kept getting up to check. I couldn't sleep, I was awake anyhow, so no big deal. Anyhow, around midnight, my home alarm went off! Loud!

I was more than a little freaked out about this. Just the other day an alarm rep had come around trying to sell systems because "there have been a few break-ins around here lately." So I get up and decide to go check wtf was going on. My alarm was blaring, and then it started talking "back door, back door, back door" so I knew where to check. Ok, the wind was so strong it blew my back doors open. Weird/freaky/cool!

Guess monsoon season is starting a little early this year?

Motivation!

2009-06-07T18:55:00.002-07:00

Maybe it was the early morning dip in the pool or maybe it was the making of plans for lunch or the starbucks or remembering to take my chemicals (ha!) but I got a lot done today. Paid bills, took out the trash, cleaned up the poop, went through the piles of things I made last year and threw it all out - if you haven't looked at it in over a year there's no point in keeping it! - hung my diploma finally (over a year later!), filed some stuff... And now I'm sitting on the couch in my favorite spot watching tv. After another dip in the pool. God I love having that pool! It was a good day.

Motivation

2009-06-05T14:46:00.007-07:00

Where is it and where can I get it? I have zilch. I have done a whole lotta couch layin' and channel surfin' in the last... well, I've done a lot of it.

Having watched a lot of TV lately, I must tell you, those damned Prius commercials - the ones where people turn into nature - freak me out. The song matched with the bright colors mixed with the wave of turning into something else... freaky. Trippy. They freak me out and I don't like them. Hate them. Must change the channel or fast forward when they come on. They're right up there with the mucus and nail fungus commercials. Hate them.

And have you noticed that Ina Garten measures everything? Even when she adds salt and pepper she uses a measuring spoon. What's up with that? To Guy Fieri everything is "money;" Tyler Florence is goofy; Sandra Lee looks like an albino German milkmaid and has OCD with those damned "tablescapes;" Giada's mouth is bigger than her head and she likes to explain her dishes in detail to her friends, who I'm pretty sure know they're eating bruschetta, even if it has a twist, oh and she puts marscapone in everything; and no way the Nealys are that much in love all the fricken time. Paula needs a show makeover, Alton has man boobs, and Rachel has the ever changing butt size goin' on.

Did you know that talk shows are boring as hell? And that the same old people are on the same old soaps doing the same old things? On the news people are dying, accidents are happening, houses are foreclosing, budgets are causing major issues... and all in the first 2 minutes.

Ugh. And no motivation to turn it off and do something different.

Bah humbug

2009-06-05T09:30:00.001-07:00

Ugh.

Summer School

2009-06-02T05:14:00.004-07:00

Well, yesterday was the first day of summer school. Interesting. We have 17 kids in our class - I say we because I'm team teaching with another teacher from my school - all of them 4th graders who will be 5th graders in August. For the next 4 weeks we will be teaching decimals, fractions and some geometry.

Being the first day, yesterday was kind of all over the place. Some of the kids were not thrilled about being in summer school, others were nervous, many parents brought their kids 15-30 minutes earlier than anticipated, some missed the bus, the website we use for math practice and games wouldn't work due to the overload of so many trying to log in at once... nuts.

And then of course there are the kids who are the devils in disguise. Two such angels emerged yesterday within the first hour of class. Hours later, in the cafeteria after lunch, I pulled one aside and said that with 5 hours a day for 4 days a week for 4 weeks he could choose to do it the hard way or the easy way. I told him that I expected him to change his attitude by today.

I felt very Dirty Harry, although I didn't ask him if he felt lucky. Have to save the big guns for later on! I'm afraid we're going to need them.

Overwhelming!

2009-05-28T16:43:00.004-07:00

I attended training for summer school today and my brain is info-logged. Way too much thrown at me at once! Tomorrow we'll be working in our rooms and planning, as well as getting even more info at a summer school faculty meeting. I'm hoping that this will help ease the "I don't have a clue about what I'm doing" feeling. I hope. Today it was all about this module and that lesson and this web-based program and that online learning system. Good thing I'm not technology-challenged; but I don't know what the hell I learned today. All I really know right this second is that I have to teach it to a bunch of kids on Monday.

Mom is home from the in-patient place now. She continues to get better and improve every day, but there's a lot that goes into it. She, Dad, and Brother need a lot of help and support. So it looks like I'm rearranging my plans for my trip. I'll be heading east right after summer school is over so I can spend close to 3 weeks there instead of just over one week. Sister is there now doing her part, and come July it will be my turn. This means I have to cancel my plans to see my boys in Cali over the 4th of July weekend. Which sucks because I look forward to it every year. But that's what family does. Right? She has always taken care of us, it's our turn to take care of her. What's one weekend in comparison?

I hope 3 weeks is enough time. School starts in early August for us teachers! I'll need the time at the end of July to regroup and get ready and have some "vacation." And hopefully this will also allow Brother and Nephew to keep their plans to come here for a week mid-July for their vacation. They need it too!! We're going to see the canyon and Sedona and ride the train and take a helicopter ride! I hope we don't have to reschedule all that.

Well, it's been windy here so I need to go clean out the pool basket and the pool itself. It looks like a pool of flowers/leaves with a little bit of water. Ha. And the dogs could use the exercise. Panda and Bonnie run and swim non-stop then pass out later. That's always good. And me? Skinny dippin' is refreshing and it helps to clear my mind. Too many bats in the belfry.

Blah blah blah

2009-05-27T10:29:00.004-07:00

Blah blah blah. I have only a certain amount of days off before the madness of teaching summer school begins. I had so many ideas for those days! The first few I enjoyed with my boys. They arrived on Friday and left early Monday morning. Since then I have done nothing. Nothing! A whole lot of couch sitting, TV watching, and internet surfing; but really...nothing. Maybe it's the let down after the storm of the last few weeks of school. Maybe it's the utter shock between the constant go go go of work and the overwhelming nothingness of days off. Maybe it's the drowning silence. I don't know what it is, but I'm blah blah blah; life is blah blah blah. Energy is low, motivation is lower. Blah.

But in an hour or so a friend will be here and we'll swim and eat and chat and chill out. And tomorrow I'll be in training all day. And Friday I have a half a day of work preparing for summer school. And Monday I'll be working. I'm sure that all that activity will chase away the blah. At least I hope so. I guess I'm just not one of those people who does well with hours and days on end with no structure. All this free time is too overwhelming!

What?!

2009-05-20T21:26:00.002-07:00

Seriously?! You have GOT to be FUCKING kidding me. No, no no! NO! NOOOOOO!

One and a half days to go!

2009-05-19T18:50:00.003-07:00

Wow. This last week is nuts! The kids are out of control, and I'm doing my best to keep them occupied. Today I had them sort, categorize and organize the classroom library. It took about three hours! We've cleaned out their writing stuff, science stuff, math stuff... Their cubbies are pretty much cleaned out too... Tomorrow is the pizza/ice cream party. They'll be playing games and signing the memory books we made over the last two days, and after lunch they'll be watching the movie "Homeward Bound" because we've been reading The Incredible Journey over the last few months. Should be a relaxing afternoon!

Then Thursday... ah Thursday! A half-day of more autographs, cleaning out the room, saying "have a great summer!" and at noon they're gone! Quiet! Peace! I love my devils in disguise, but I am ready to not see them for a while. Is that bad? Then I have a week off before summer school starts.

So my boys are coming on Friday!! I am sooo excited and ready to see them. We're doing the traditional dinner at Oreganos when they get in, then spending the weekend swimming, starbucksing, and who knows what else. I am very much looking forward to it. Seriously, they are the best boyfriends a girl could ever have!

Well, American Idol is about to start so I'm gonna sign off. Gotta go watch Adam win it all!

When it rains it pours

2009-05-13T17:45:00.003-07:00

Ok, so I'm rehired, right? Well what I hadn't mentioned was that I had gotten an interview at another district. Once I was rehired, though, I cancelled the interview. I mean, I had said yes to my job, and there was no reason to go through with the interview. In the business world you always go through with the interview - and nothing is set in stone until you've signed on the dotted line. However, in this world things are done a little differently; and a yes is a yes, even though I hadn't signed.

Well, today Grouchy Rican called with an opportunity for me that would have been perfect. She will be teaching 8th grade next year, and the teacher who was going to be her partner, the other 8th grade teacher, pulled out. What are the chances that an opportunity of that kind would come around AFTER I had said yes to my job?! It's only what she and I talked about endlessly while in school!! Being partners, team teaching - being the kick ass team we were in school.

Had I not been hired back, I would have had no hesitation in going for it. And if this was just any other call for an interview (like the other one), I wouldn't be wondering about taking my job back. Is it possible that there are two perfect jobs, two perfect scenarios, two perfect paths? Honestly, I did not think there would or could be anything that would make me wonder or hesitate or do a double take about saying yes to this job and school I love so much.

I am not one that enjoys being in this position. If I was still in the business world, I would know what to do and how to play it. In this world...

WTF?

2009-05-11T17:35:00.006-07:00

I have no idea how these weird, email ads are getting on my blog. It's annoying me! I'll have to look it up and see if I can't figure it out. Like I don't have a million other things to do.

So, ok, the count down has started. I've actually been looking forward to the end of the school year for a while, but today I started my actual countdown. 6 full days, 2 half days. That's it. I am SO, looking forward to it! I get about a week completely off, then I attend a full day of training for summer school. Summer school starts on 6/1. Yes I need a break from teaching, but summer school is just 8:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. Mondays through Thursdays. Afternoons and Fridays off. Not too bad.

So, ok, I did a dumb thing. I got a bunch of chocolate from the kids last week (it was teacher appreciation week), and I forgot about it and left it in a gift bag on the floor of my office. They were individually wrapped and in a box that was sealed. I get home today and there's a destroyed box and chocolate wrappers everywhere. Yep. Bonnie. She ate all of them. Thank god she's a lab with a lab's stomach. Unless she's throwing up right now, she seems fine. Thank goodness it was a small box.

Ok, I'm tired and I want to go swimming. Grumperini out.

I can't sleep!

2009-05-07T04:51:00.005-07:00

Fuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhk! I'm exhausted, recovering from the flu, and have SO MUCH going on this week. I need my sleep! I have training all day today that is required for teaching summer school, so I won't be in class (after missing two days already!), tonight is curriculum night and I have to prepare our exhibits (after an all day training) and be at school from 6-7 tonight, and Friday our group has Fat Friday so I have to make beans after curriculum night! Jaysus.

What's keeping me up? Well today it was a dream about THAT mom. She is the bane of my existence and SO two-faced. She tells me to my face that she hopes I get my job back, but then tells other teachers that she won't put her son in my class if I do. WHATEVER! I hope she doesn't. Not having to deal with her would be like being on a year-long vacation.

So what about my job? The principal called me yesterday and said they were hiring me back! I have a job! I'm not jobless and I won't be homeless! OMG what a relief! This is a tough as shyte job, but I always was determined to put in at least 3 years and not give up. I'm sticking to that goal. I have a job!

Now if I could only sleep!!!

I have the flu

2009-05-04T13:35:00.002-07:00

Well, okay, not THE flu. I have a flu. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck on Friday after work, then after dinner it affected me intenstinally, and by Saturday morning I couldn't move. Everything hurt. I couldn't stand up without getting dizzy and nauseated. I had a fever of 101. Food was not possible. I slept the entire day. Sunday wasn't much better.

I just got back from the doctor and he confirmed that it isn't THE flu. But I'm likely still contagious and shouldn't go to work. He thinks I should stay home through Wednesday. Wednesday! Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo, Thursday is curriculum night, and I have training all day Thursday. This is the WORST week to be out sick. The worst.

How ridiculous and ironic that I have the flu when the flu has caused a world-wide panic. Freakin' ridiculous. And inconvenient. And yucky.

Today's a different story...

2009-04-27T17:29:00.015-07:00

I'm in a much better mood! Maybe because I got all my crap done yesterday (after wasting an entire day on Saturday) and got to see Sister and BIL. Maybe it's because I got to work at the crack of dawn today and got a lot done there too. Maybe it's because my students were pretty well behaved today and lessons went smoothly.

And maybe it's because I got the summer school position I applied for!!! So now I know I actually have a job through June. (Don't know anything about after that, but through June I'm good!) Yay!

I was in such a good mood when I got home today that I decided to take a page from Velvet Brick's book (a link to her blog is below - and I HIGHLY recommend you take a look) and take pictures of the oasis' backyard. Check out the new link under "Photo Gallery" to the right... I'm not the best photographer, and I never know what setting to use on the dang camera (hence the multiple pictures of stuff that are under and over exposed!); but Spring has sprung and the backyard looks great. (Except for the dog poop, but I tried not to get any of that in the pictures.) Here's a sneak preview:

That's Jeffrey and Bassett. My agaves. Named after BIL. Enjoy the rest of the pictures!

Bah, humbug

2009-04-26T10:13:00.003-07:00

Very hard to pull out of a bad/down in the dumps/overwhelmed/where in da hell is my life going type mood. I took the day off on Friday to observe another school district, school, and age group. I'm glad I did it - but I missed a field trip, and I'm second guessing that decision. In business, if you need a day off, you take one that is going to be light on duties. So that's the same way I went here - no teaching on field trip days, so it made sense. But another teacher pointed out that the kids won't remember that you were absent on the day they learned fractions. They will remember that you missed a cool trip to the aquarium. Sigh. I guess it's a lesson learned by a newbie.

I still don't know where I'll be next year. Do I move? Do I sell the house? Will I be a teacher? Should I be a greeter at Walmart. Ugh. You see why I'm down? I quit working in the business field to be a teacher, now I don't know if I'll be one, and I'm scared that after 4 years out of the business field I won't get a job back in it if I tried. Seriously, I'm hating this position I'm in. I'm not motivated, I just want school to be over, and I'm grumpy as hell. Bah humbug.

From the ministry of silly online quizzes...

2009-04-19T14:47:00.002-07:00

I was compelled to take a quiz called "How will you die?" I don't know why I was compelled to do so, but I was. The result? "An angry monkey kicks you off a ship, and you fall into the water and 200 sharks feed on your body." I don't know how I'll come to be on a ship with a monkey, or how I'll make him mad; but as far as ways to go, this one seems pretty good. Except the part about the 200 sharks.

Serenity Now!!!

2009-04-17T16:44:00.006-07:00

Does it make me a bad teacher and a bad person to say that I need a LONG break away from these kids?!?! AAAAARRRGGGGHHH. They are zapping my will to live! The whining, the misbehaving, the screaming in the bathroom, the tattling...
OH
MY
GOD

Chocolate in a safe white place

2009-04-12T11:08:00.002-07:00

I'm very overwhelmed. I'm very nervous. I'm very scared. I'm very "not have way" with anything I need to be or should be doing right now. I'm very freaked out. I can't do this.

2009-04-10T23:09:00.002-07:00

Chocolate Fudge and Cookies and Cream. The perfect double scoop after the double whammy.

My "day off" agenda

2009-04-10T07:10:00.011-07:00

~ Back to H&R Block... keep good thoughts.

~ Arizona Department of Education to get them to fix my teaching certificate because the one they issued last year was WRONG. Plus I can get all my endorsements on it; and hopefully those will help in the job search... again, keep good thoughts.

~ Social Security Administration because a million years ago I lost my card and I really really really need to just get one. I will need it for job hunting and job accepting... yes, keep good thoughts.

~ Baskin Robbins. Double scoop, chocolate chip and something decadently chocolate.

Besides all that - which doesn't sound like much maybe, but the last two places are downtown and require a wait in line that may be who knows how long and we all know that waiting is not my strong suit - I need to do my lesson plans and I really could try to get the essay written for this application to one of the other districts that is sitting on my desk... If I could do that this morning instead of staring out the window contemplating my long day I could maybe get it turned in today... But, ugh.

I don't want to have to be doing this! So I'm fighting it a little. Plus I hate writing these application essays! "What are the most important personal and academic characteristics of a teacher?" "At the end of your first year of district employment, how will you determine whether or not you have been successful?" Gag me. GAG ME.

Thing is, I don't have much of a choice. I HAVE to get a job, so I HAVE to suck it up and write bull-poopy essays and go on interviews and even consider going back to a career I left so I could be a teacher. I don't wanna!!! (Mom would recognize that phrase as the precursor to throwing myself on the floor dramatically and crying to ensure maximum attention, followed by milk and cookies.) Sigh. I don't wanna.

Speaking of mom... DVT in both legs so she's back in the hospital. In the midst of all this uncertainty, one thing is very certain. If I'm needed, I'm going to VA, and everything else will just have to fix itself.

My Idol

2009-04-09T05:49:00.004-07:00

I've made my pick. In fact, I made it a while ago, maybe even after the first week. Adam Lambert. Mark my words. I LOVE HIM. I was pissed though because the show ran long on Tuesday and neither my DVR or my TIVO picked it up! ARGH. I had to go searching on the net. But I was rewarded. OMG. First, I love that song; second, I love that version of it; and third, I love him. LOVE HIM. Gokey and Lambert in the final, Adam wins. I'm tellin' ya.

That's 10 hours I'll never get back...

2009-04-07T16:07:00.003-07:00

I've spent all day crunching numbers, going through receipts, creating spreadsheets, updating my resume, and looking for jobs... fuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuk. I'm overwhelmed, tired, disheartened, freaked out, broke and jobless. Yeah yeah yeah, maybe such and thus, and perhaps that and this. But maybe's aren't going to cut it right this hot second. I need definites and I need them now. And there aren't any anywhere.

No retreat, baby, no surrender

2009-04-05T10:00:00.002-07:00

So Friday I get a call at 2:40, can I meet with the principal right after school? Yep. Uh oh. About 8 of us got the word that due to budget issues the district has implemented a reduction in force and we were the ones cut from our school. All of us first year teachers, although several are actually veteran teachers who have been in the district only one year. So as of right now, I do not have a job after May 22nd.

What about the Dual Language program, does this mean it's going away? We don't know, it hasn't been discussed yet, but if it stays, you may have a job. MAY HAVE.

When will we know for sure? There is no specific time frame, we just don't know.

Should I look for a job now or hang on and wait? Do what you feel you need to do.

Uh. Yeah. I HATE LIMBO!

I'm not even going to mention how it went with H&R Block yesterday. Suffice it to say that today I'm looking for receipts, adding up totals, sacrificing chickens, and getting my resume together to submit to other districts (not that they haven't also been letting people go). I will also be looking for jobs in the business sector and submitting my resume to just about any job that I may be able to do. Maybe even some that I have no clue whether or not I can do.

Are you going to keep teaching? I am not ruling out anything.

Are you moving back to Virginia? I'm not ruling out anything.

Are you going to try to go back to your old job at FM? I'm not ruling out anything.

As we waited for The Boss to take the stage Friday night, Barista turned to me and asked what I thought he'd open the show with. Without hesitation I said "Badlands." I called it, it was fitting after the Friday I had, and boy is it fitting right now baby...

Lights out tonight, trouble in the heartland.
Got a head-on collision, smashin in my guts man.
I'm caught in a crossfire that I don't understand.

But there's one thing I know for sure girl:
I don't give a damn for the same old played out scenes
I don't give a damn for just the in-betweens.
Honey I want the heart, I want the soul, I want control right now.

You better listen to me baby:
Talk about a dream; try to make it real.
You wake up in the night with a fear so real.
You spend your life waiting for a moment that just don't come.
Well don't waste your time waiting!

Badlands... you gotta live it every day
Let the broken hearts stand as the price you've gotta pay
We'll keep pushin 'til it's understood
And these badlands start treating us good.

Workin in the field 'til you get your back burned
Workin 'neath the wheels 'til you get your facts learned.
Baby I got my facts learned real good right now.

You better get it straight darling:
Poor men wanna be rich, rich men wanna be kings,
And a king ain't satisfied 'til he rules everything.
I wanna go out tonight, I wanna find out what I got.

Now I believe in the love that you gave me.
I believe in the faith that could save me.
I believe in the hope and I pray that some day it will raise me above
these Badlands...

You gotta live it every day
Let the broken hearts stand as the price
you've gotta pay
We'll keep pushin 'til it's understood
And these badlands
start treating us good.

For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside
That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive.
I wanna find one face that ain't looking through me
I wanna find one place, I wanna spit in the face of these
Badlands...

You gotta live it every day
Let the broken hearts stand as the price you've gotta pay
We'll keep pushin 'til it's understood
And these badlands start treating us good.

Bruuuuuuuuuuuuce!

2009-04-02T19:14:00.003-07:00

Several months ago, my favorite barista at my Starbucks (yes, it's mine), bummed out that her son was not going to be able to go with her, invited me to go with her to see The Boss. "I'll buy if you fly," she said. So tomorrow night we will be dancing to the tunes of the E Street Band. I am so excited!!! I saw them, what, 20+ years ago?! Seems like the whole world's walkin' pretty baby!

It was bound to happen...

2009-04-01T15:44:00.003-07:00

... and today it did. I wasn't thinking. I wasn't paying that close attention. She was talking, we were joking, and it just slipped out. The "S" word. In class. To a student. I said "shit." I am mortified. I apologized, I told the principal, I called the mom, I apologized profusely. They all laughed and said "it's ok." I'm still mortified. Ugh.

Aaaack! Creativity! Aaaack!

2009-03-25T19:10:00.009-07:00

Looking ahead at the calendar for April and May this afternoon, I got very overwhelmed. I need to plan activities for 12 2nd graders who will be with my IA next week while I give the 3rd graders the AIMS. We have staff appreciation week in April, Earth Day, cinco de mayo is a mere month plus away, mother's day is coming, and curriculum night is looming... Why is this overwhelming? Because all of these things involve and require a level of creativity and craftiness that I do not possess. Mentor teacher did some amazing things last year creating homemade crafts as presents and curriculum night was a success for our class because of her creativity. That kind of creativity does not come naturally to me, and in fact takes a lot out of me. It's stressful. I'm more a "buy a card at Walgreens and have the kids sign it and stick a Starbucks card in it" kind of person. That's going to have to be okay, because I just can't do it all.

I'm definitely not at the point where planning is a breeze, and I can do a lesson off the top of my head. Making sure I teach everything I'm supposed to between now and the end of the year is going to take all my efforts. I'm seriously nervous about accomplishing everything I think we're supposed to accomplish - even if there weren't all sorts of extra curriculars going on!

So, given a choice I'd focus only on the display our class needs to create for curriculum night to showcase what we've been doing in class and not on crafty activities. This makes me feel guilty for the kids. Primary kids should get to do all sorts of artsy stuff, and they don't have that kind of teacher. It's the same guilt I'd feel if I was a mom and my kids had to wear sheets every year on Halloween because their mom isn't creative enough to do anything beyond "go as a ghost, here's a sheet." But that's who I am and who I'm not.

I'm not sure I do have the choice, though. There are expectations, and I need to meet them. It's stressful.

One last thing, I got a note from one of my kids yesterday. "Ms. Grumperini is so beautiful that when she looks in the mirror it smiles." That made my day.

Are you ready for this?

2009-03-22T19:27:00.004-07:00

I put in 9.5 hours of work today. My report cards are finished, although not ready to go, my lesson plans are typed up and copied, and I kinda sorta know what we'll be doing this week, the room is ready for the next quarter of madness... But I'm not ready mentally, physically or emotionally. I'm just not ready. I have 12 hours to get ready; or find a way to "fake it 'til I make it."

Mom is doing better. Before I left she was moved to the inpatient rehab center where she'll be for a week to two weeks. She'll have three hours of therapy every day to help her with swallowing, breathing, walking and her vision. I am so relieved.

I could use another week off.

The next right step...

2009-03-20T06:45:00.003-07:00

I got the acceptance letter to ASU for the Educational Technology graduate certificate!! Somehow, I knew I'd be accepted. It's just the next right thing... I feel it... I start in the Fall. Saddle up, boys, here we go again.

I'm supposed to be packing and getting ready to go so as not to waste the whole of the hours I have left before getting on the plane. But here I sit, laptop in lap, typing, sipping peppermint mocha that Brother made me, and fighting the inevitable. I swear, if next week wasn't AIMS prep week, I might have postponed the trip back... Maybe. I'm rather dedicated, so probably not, but the pull is there.

Interestingly, I don't miss the kids yet. Their behavior was... Well, it was a tough week the week before break. But just as I'm saying, thinking, and writing this, the pang to see them has sparked in my heart. They may be devils in disguise, but they are my devils in disguise. Oh crap, now I miss them. Jeez.

Spring "break" is over

2009-03-19T14:21:00.005-07:00

Well, I leave the East coast tomorrow to head back to the desert. I have such mixed feelings about this. It will be nice to see the sun and feel the warmth again. I miss my pooch, Sister, BIL, my friends, and my house. But it's a strange sensation because it's not like I'm leaving a strange place to head home. It's more like leaving home to get home. That doesn't make sense. Or does it? I suppose as much as the desert has become home, Virginia will never be just a place I visit. I live in both places, and I suppose I always will. As much as I look forward to being home, I will equally miss Brother, SIL, Jack and Lily, my parents, my friends here, my East coast pooches, the chill in the air, the wet fog, winter.

Add to that not being able to visit Mom every day while she is recovering. We found out today that she will be staying at Johns Hopkins for 2 more weeks (give or take) for in-patient physical therapy. She has trouble talking, hearing, swallowing, walking... and all of that must improve before she can go home. We spoke with the surgeon yesterday. He reiterated how much tougher the surgery was than he thought it was going to be... that damned tumor was pushing so hard against the brain stem, and apparently it was very attached to it as well... Thank god it's out. Once home she'll continue with out-patient therapy. He expects a full recovery, but cautioned that it will take time. 6 to 9 months time.

So, she's doing well, she's on the road to recovery, and she is in good hands. I can't help feeling though that mine should be among those hands...

Out of NCCU!

2009-03-18T07:32:00.002-07:00

Mom was moved yesterday to a regular hospital room. Yay! The ventilator has left her voice extremely raspy, but she's breathing on her own and getting better day by day. But this was brain surgery. And no doctor ever said anything about "cognitive deficits." Until today. I noticed yesterday that she has trouble talking, writing, hearing, seeing. I figured it was all surgery related and temporary. Now, I'm not going to panic before panic is called for, but "cognitive deficits" is not a phrase one really wants to experience with regard to anyone you love who just had brain surgery. Brother and I are headed up later today, and if someone doesn't have some answers that are more definite than "we're just not sure" or "we have to wait and see" then there will be others with cognitive deficits once I'm done.

Tube is out!

2009-03-16T12:53:00.002-07:00

Mom is off the ventilator. She is breathing on her own! She's having a hard time with it, she's very sore, and the doctor said she might have to back on it... but for now, she's off! Yay!

Back and forth to Baltimore

2009-03-15T19:28:00.003-07:00

Every day since Thursday my brother and I have made the trip to Baltimore and back. Visiting hours are from 12 - 2 and then 5 - 8. Not exactly convenient when the hospital is 1 1/2 hours from home. But what are you gonna do. The past two days we've gone up for the 12 - 2 time slot, tomorrow we're aiming for 5 - 8.

Mom is in the NCCU - the neurology version of the ICU. For whatever reason - there are many theories - she has trouble controlling her ability to swallow, gag reflex and air passages so she has been on a ventilator since the surgery. Every day we hear "maybe we'll be able to take it out tomorrow" and every day so far they haven't. Here's hoping tomorrow is the day. The tumor was on the brain stem, and the optic nerves of her right eye were so entwined with the tumor that she is going to have complications with vision in that eye. These complications include moving the eye and having double vision. Perhaps permanently, but we don't know. Another "wait and see" scenario. Right after surgery she was also having trouble moving her left side. They didn't know what if any permanent effects she would have from this either. But the next day she seemed to be moving her left side just fine.

Everything is a wait and see from the doctors. I hate that. Everyday we make this awful drive and yet I can't do a damned thing to make things better or move her recovery along any faster or trouble free than it is going to take on its own. I hate that too.

Everyday my brother and I get lost on the way to and way back from the hospital. I hated that at first, but it's very amusing now. We try to find humor where we can.

Marie Antoinette

2009-03-12T08:06:00.005-07:00

So here I am sitting in Sky Harbor waiting for my flight to Dulles. Lucky me, I'm flying at the beginning of Spring Break. The gate is full of excited college students. Ick.

Yesterday I made a spur of the moment decision to fly a day earlier so I can get in in time to see Mom before her surgery tomorrow. My original flight tomorrow would have gotten me into Baltimore at 11:00 p.m., way after the surgery, and I wanted to see her beforehand. I mean, what if she woke up from surgery and was someone else? Marie Antoinette? Mary Poppins? Shirley MacLaine? No, didn't want to miss the before AND the after. :)

So yesterday afternoon was spent running around, getting my lesson plans ready for the sub, changing flights, scheduling shuttle, laundry, packing, shopping. All those things that I was gonna do today! But I got a great sub, the kids were great about it, and all worked out to make this last minute change work out great.

For those who don't know, around this time last year we found out Mom has a brain tumor. Luckily, it's more than likely not malignant, and not difficult to remove, or even right on the brain itself. It's on the outer layer, but it's growing and pushing against important stuff. (I guess with the brain it's all important stuff.) So it's got to come out. As far as brain tumors go, if you have to have one, this is the one to have. But it's still surgery, and brain surgery at that, so... Anyway, hold good thoughts... Will update as the weekend progresses...

The "B" word and the "A" word

2009-03-06T20:16:00.003-07:00

2nd grader: Um, Ms. Grumperini? So and so said the "B" word and the "A" word and said we shouldn't text those words because they're bad words, but he said them. He said the words.

Me: What? So and so said what??

2nd grader: He said the "B" word and the "A" word!

Me: He did? Wait? What words did he say?

2nd grader: He said "bitch" and "ass." And he said we shouldn't text those words, but he said them.

Me: Thank you, 2nd grader, please ask him to come here.

Me: So and so, did you say some bad words to 2nd grader?

So and so: No. I told him there were words we shouldn't text because they're bad words.

Me: He said you said the "B" word and the "A" word. Did you?

So and so: No, well, yes, I said those were words you shouldn't say or text because they're bad.

Me: Well, do you text?

So and so: No.

Me: Well, then why did you bring it up? Did you want to say the words? How do you know these words anyhow?

So and so: Oh, well my dad says them all the time!

Sometimes it's so hard not to laugh.

Monday, Monday

2009-02-24T07:16:00.011-07:00

The day started out normal enough. Kids came in, we did the usual morning and Monday morning things, we had reading groups... Then they went to P.E., and this is when the craziness started. I had a voice mail from a parent concerned because some of the kids had apparently called his daughter "white trash." Great. So I ran around arranging for that to be dealt with (talking to counselor, principal, etc, because not only is that bullying, it's racial bullying, ugh). By the time I was finished with that I had to pick them up and take them to recess. I checked in with the girl who had made the complaint to her dad, got some names, and headed back to the office to get the plan in place. Then I ran back to recess because I needed to talk to one of the teachers on duty. (Apparently, I need my grade level chair to write a recommendation for my application to teach summer school, even though she doesn't really know me all that well. Weird, but whatever.) Anyhow, I was talking to her, or had just finished talking to her, and I was standing there waiting for the whistle to signal the end of recess, when a soccer ball came out of who knows were and hit me in the back of the head. Hard.

And I mean HARD. There was someone right there, thank goodness, because when she asked if I was okay, I said no, and lost my footing. She helped me down. My head was throbbing, I was incredibly dizzy, and then I was very nauseated. There were kids everywhere and I kept hearing my kids ask "are you okay? what's wrong?" Ugh.

Well, long story short, one of the teachers on duty called for the nurse, who called for 911, who then packed me up and took me to the hospital. I didn't really want to go, but "head injury" "concussion" and "is your neck hurt in any way?" are phrases that make you change your mind. So we went. Mentor Teacher went with me and stayed there until Sister showed up. They took xrays of my neck and a CAT scan of my head... all good. They discharged with me, but not without warnings about concussions.

Great. A concussion? "Someone needs to wake you up every 6 hours." Great. Every 6 hours? Apparently so I don't pass out, can't wake up, die, bleed out, whatever. Great. So here I am, at Sister's house because I couldn't stay home alone. I called in a sub for today in anticipation of not feeling up to working (which I'm glad I did because my head hurts a lot still, and so does everything else from tensing up and that very relaxing ambulance ride.) So my day will consist of playing on the Internet, watching TV, and napping. All because of a soccer ball.

Age or dead brain cells?

2009-02-21T09:07:00.005-07:00

I have a Facebook account. I started with this recently because one person who told two people, who told people, who told two people... who I went to high school with (both high schools) said they were on there and had found everyone else we went to high school with. And it's true, everyone is on there, and I am now in touch with everyone I ever knew in high school. This is an awesome thing.

However. Apparently I'm at that age that the mind is going (or has gone), and I'm getting messages from people I have no recollection of (yes yes yes, preposition at the end of the sentence, so what?!). None. Zilch. Nada. I don't recognize the name, the picture, the memories... Nothing. WTF? It can't be age yet... right?! Which means I killed a staggering amount of brain cells between high school and now... Staggering. I'm waiting for a light bulb to go on, but I think the bulb is dead.

On an interesting note, if I already had my masters degree in Educational Technology, I could get a job as a business analyst/project manager in the development of, well, educational technology. At a company in D.C. With a "competitive salary." Or, if I had stayed in VA, I could be making $10K more a year as a first year teacher. This isn't the plan, and hasn't been the plan, but it makes me wonder what this means for AZ. For AZ kids, for AZ teachers, for AZ schools... and for me and my future in AZ.

I wonder.

Wireless is a wonderful thing

2009-02-20T20:27:00.002-07:00

So I'm sitting in a class - a required class - and someone had told me there was wireless access available here. She was right. And now I'm surfin' the web, checkin' email, and lesson plannin' instead of paying attention. I'm bad. Do I feel guilty? Nope.

Ooops, what did I say?

2009-02-17T18:45:00.002-07:00

Recess is over, yadda yadda yadda, get ready for writing, yadda yadda yadda, "and quit doing all that goofy ass stuff."

Ooops. I said ass. Crap.

My kids ROCK

2009-02-12T05:32:00.002-07:00

Since the week of the inauguration when we also watched a video of MLK's speech, my kids have been writing their own "I Have a Dream" ideas. I asked them if they wanted to turn it into a book that we could submit to our district's writing contest. They said yes. The book is finished now - I'm submitting it today - and I want to share what they wrote for the intro/dedication. Now, the rules of the contest say that it has to be students' writing only, and I attest/affirm/swear that they wrote this themselves. I was merely their scribe. They did an amazing job.

On January 20, 2009, we saw Barack Obama become President. We watched the inauguration and we watched as he was sworn into history. That day we also watched a video of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. give the “I Have a Dream” speech. His speech inspired us to write our own dreams. We wrote this book to inspire younger kids to have their own dreams to help the world, to help make the world a better place. We watched “I Have a Dream” and decided President Obama was also a brave man who could make our dreams known.

We would like to dedicate this book to President Obama for being the first black president. For showing how segregation can change. For protecting us. For showing us we can each be important and special. And for all the great things he has done so far to make our world a better place.

President Obama –

We saw the historic video of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. calling for the end of segregation and for equality and it inspired us to share our dreams with you. These are our dreams to make our world even better. Dr. King stood up for Rosa Parks and those who should be free, and we thought we could make a difference too. He inspired us to write this book that we dedicate to you so you can change the world with our dreams.

Sincerely,

Organic isn't always better

2009-02-10T18:32:00.007-07:00

I shopped at Whole Foods the other day. I was so excited to go because I hadn't been to one since I left VA. I strolled up and down the aisles, admiring the jars of fancy this and cans of obscure that. I filled my basket with multi-grain, freshly baked bread, organic chili, organic sour cream, cheese curds (cheese curds!), two bags of chips (because sweet potato chips sounded interesting and so did carrot chips), canola oil mayo, and a yummy salad from the salad bar.

Several thoughts. One. Holy SHIT is Whole Foods expensive! Was it always this expensive? Was I just so unconcerned about disposable income that I never noticed how expensive it was?? Thank goodness it isn't close enough to home to go all that often. Maybe only once in a while when I'm in the mood to spend my car payment on a salad. (I don't really have a car payment, I'm just sayin.)

Two. I'm not an organic freak. I don't go out of my way to buy organic, and when it's available I don't usually go for it. But Whole Foods is nothing but. I had no choice but to buy organic or put the basket down, walk away, and start over somewhere else. Which wasn't going to happen. Anyhow, I don't do organic. I also don't do fat free. Or even low fat. But I digress. Organic. The canola mayo - it's actually pretty good. The organic chili and sour cream? YUCK. The chili is tasteless - like fat free stuff - and the sour cream has a funny taste, which is ironic because it is sour cream. I am disappointed. And back in the day I would have thrown out the sour cream and gotten rid of the chili. But now? I had to suck it up and eat it. (Bad choice of words there.)

Three. Um. I LOVE that salad bar. However, I can't afford or eat a 1lb salad anymore. Sucks.

Four. Cheese curds! They didn't squeak, but they were delicious and it was nice to go down memory lane a little bit.

Ok, so I was going to talk about the weather next, but I figured if I complained about the mid 50's to mid 60's cold and rainy snap we're having I'd be driven out of VA by pitchfork the next time I was in town.

From your student...

2009-02-06T05:34:00.003-07:00

Dear Miss [Grumperini]

You rock. I love you you are so butiful.
I also want to be in your class in forth grade if I pass.
YOU ROCK!!!

I worry about budgets, parents, curriculum, am I being mean, am I being too lenient, am I doing a good job, are they going to do well on the standardized test, what am I not teaching them, and then I get this note. THIS is why I do this.

Safe...for now....

2009-02-05T18:52:00.006-07:00

So mere hours after a meeting in which we found out nothing, a few teachers were told that we wouldn't have the numbers to support their positions next year. Ugh. I fully expected to be one of those teachers. But, for now, nothing has been said/done/decided/mentioned about the dual language program. So... safe. For now. That is not to say that as we ease on down the road that something else could happen. But... safe. For now.

Ok. So now, can we talk about TV? I need to talk about TV. I love TV. First, Lost. Apparently it started up again. I missed it. I hate that I missed it. It's not my fault. It's the DVRs fault. My Tivo - which is the best thing ever invented - is in the bedroom, not on the "good" TV, and now I have one of those fancy schmancy HD DVRs in the living room. ANYHOW, the fancy schmancy DVR does not have Tivo's ability to look up shows you may want to record and set up the "catch all episodes" in advance. No. Instead you have to know when the show is coming on, highlight it, select record, and THEN you can catch all episodes. Thing is, you have to know when something is coming on in order to do that! I can't keep track of all that! That's why I love Tivo... Tivo does it all. Anyhow, I missed Lost.

Second, Survivor. Yay.

Third, American Idol. Thank GOD "bikini girl" got cut! She zapped my will to live. But the Osmond?? I LOVED him. Maybe it's his story, or maybe it's just because I'm a total Osmond fan and nerd, but I loved him. I'm bummed.

Ok, seriously? I'm about to write a whole post on the embarrassingly large amount of shows I love to watch and have to have a DVR and Tivo to catch? Yeah, was about to. Not gonna. But, sheesh, they cut an Osmond?

Budget cuts

2009-02-02T10:56:00.003-07:00

According to an email I just received from the Arizona Education Association, the House, Senate and our Governor decided to cut the FY09 budget by over $180 million to k12 education. This could mean cuts in paper, text books, making copies... buying new text books has already been frozen. This could also mean RIFs and salary reductions... Tell me, how are we supposed to teach if we don't have text books and we can't make copies of the ones we do have? Any idea how much money comes out of my own pocket to pay for these things already??

Who knows if I would still have had a job if I had stayed at FM, but I wish now I had stayed. I certainly never thought that I'd hear RIF with regard to teachers... some classrooms already have 29 students each! Be afraid people, be very afraid.

Is this happening in VA too? I may have to move back to be able to support myself... Anyone with a basement I can move into?!

For your viewing pleasure!

2009-02-01T08:05:00.002-07:00

Bad mood? Need something to make you laugh? Click HERE!

I have a sinus infection, no drugs, and a pile of work. Yay!

Uncertainty

2009-01-27T17:48:00.002-07:00

Budget cuts. Big ones. Instructional assistants? Music? Art? P.E.? All day kindergarten? Dual language program? Guess we'll have to see what happens. But it don't look good.

I'm still here!

2009-01-24T12:27:00.002-07:00

Back to school, report cards, changing plans, field trips, long hours, blah blah blah, have all conspired to keep me from blogging. I'm so freaking tired when I get home I don't even turn on the computer. But I'm here, and stuff is happening, and I'll try to keep up. Later. I'm gonna take a nap.

AAAACK

2009-01-04T18:27:00.003-07:00

My two weeks is up and I'm freaking out! Why in da hell am I planning at the last minute?! Can't even enjoy the full 2 weeks, dammit.

I watched some movies, read 3 1/2 of the 4 books of the Twilight Saga, lazed around a lot, relaxed... everything you're SUPPOSED to do on vacation. One thing though. Teachers don't get to enjoy every single minute of their vacations!! They have to work! They have to be ready! They have to prepare! OMG!

Anyhow. I'm prepared in some ways and not in others. I'll be winging it at some points this week. I just not have way right now. I'm impossibilitated. Chingated. NOT READY.

Ugh.

I did it

2008-12-27T14:43:00.002-07:00

I submitted my application to ASU online. Guess this is what happens when I've got nada much to do (or, more honestly, am avoiding what I should be doing). I updated my resume, clicked the links, filled in the info, and voilá. Done. Guess there's nothing much to do now but wait and see what happens. But if I'm right, and this IS the next right thing, the answer will be yes and I'll be starting in August, 2009. Yikes. Am I nuts?!

So this is Christmas?

2008-12-25T19:51:00.012-07:00

And what have I done? I paid all my bills, got all my grades in online, paid the Mary Kay lady, paid the Gilbert police to answer my alarms (like if I'm ever in danger while skinny dipping again HA!), filled out prescription and medical claim forms, sent in school loan forms begging for them to make my payments smaller (well, not begging - there are forms and such for this), and spent some time researching masters degrees. The one that keeps calling me is a Masters of Education in Educational Technology from ASU. The website says:

The MEd in Educational Technology is a non-thesis degree program that requires completion of 30 credit hours beyond the bachelor’s degree. The program focuses on the design, development, and evaluation of instructional systems and educational technology applications to support learning. Graduates of the program typically are employed in the schools, community colleges, and universities or as training specialists in corporate settings.

Ok, it doesn't sound all that thrilling, but some of the classes sound cool: "Instructional Media Design;" "Development of Computer-Based Instruction;" "Multimedia Presentation Technologies;" "Games, simulations & virtual environments." Cool, huh? And it's a non-thesis program! Gotta dig that! Anyhow, one of the best parts is that there is an Ed Tech certificate program which requires only half the credits as the masters; and I can start on that first. The first 3 courses are the same for both the certificate and masters, so no GRE holding me up before starting. I can start on those courses, THEN take the GRE to get into the program. By that time I will no doubt be accepted since I will have dazzled my professors with my tech skills. Ok, ok, ok. I will have at least proved that I can do the work and keep my grades up.

Anyhow, you know the feeling you get when you've found the next right thing? I have that feeling. Don't know why, don't care, it's just the next right thing. Now I just need to figure out who, what, when and how in da hell I'm going to pay for it.

So that's what I did this Christmas. That and watch tv, read, eat popcorn (mmmm! Kettle corn! It's sweet and salty!), smooch my dog, and try to clean up a little. Not bad for a lazy day at home.

What gives you chills?

2008-12-23T22:23:00.002-07:00

Obviously I'm on a theme here, but not everyone gets the chills from the same things. For me it's "Nessun Dorma," "Ave Maria," "O Holy Night," and "The Dance." Doesn't matter how many times I've heard those songs, I get chills every damned time I hear them. I'm sure there are a few more that I can't think of at this moment... What is your list?

Nessun Dorma

2008-12-22T23:39:00.002-07:00

If I can't sleep, nobody shall sleep. Here's something to give you chills. At least, it does me. Every time.

I like big butts

2008-12-20T10:29:00.002-07:00

One of my 3rd grade girls came to me and said "So and so [2nd grade boy] said you have a big butt." I called this 2nd grade boy over and asked him if he had actually said that. He looked down, ashamed, and said that yes, he had said that. I asked him why he would say such a thing.

He looked up, looked me in the eye, and said: "Well, you kind of do."

What in the hell do you say to that?

Parents

2008-12-17T21:23:00.001-07:00

BM was at it again today. God help me.

OMG

2008-12-09T01:20:00.001-07:00

I passed. I passed the AEPA on middle school math. OMG. How in da hell?!

Butt Crack

2008-12-07T11:31:00.006-07:00

I'm having lunch with Grouchy Rican, she looks over, and there it is. Old Man Butt Crack. Lovely. Not that Young Man Butt Crack would have been any better during lunch, but... eeeewww.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T12:05:00.003-07:00

It's my favorite holiday ever. This year I'm celebrating all by myself, with two dogs, and take out to make a left over thanksgiving meal for Thanksgiving (i.e. going to get stuffing, potatoes and fixins and making a sandwhich for dinner!) No cooking, no clean up, no company, no visiting, no conversation, no nada. I'm gonna wear grubbies all day, sit my azz on the couch, and watch recorded stuff and be as happy as a.... hmmmm. Happy as a teacher on vacation.

And I have left over apple cider! And it's not in a box! Idiots.

All I want is some damned apple cider!

2008-11-25T19:15:00.010-07:00

So as I'm finding out, expectations of elementary teachers include that we celebrate every damned little thing that comes along with the kids; preferably in some artsy fartsy way that also incorporates learning. One, I'm not artsy fartsy; and two, I haven't been teaching long enough to have this stuff in my bag of tricks ahead of time enough to incorporate learning. I'm trying though. Anyhow, Thanksgiving, not being a little thing, is a definitely celebratory requirement. Apparently I did not impress with my lame Halloween celebration (considering I didn't do a damned thing because there was already a parade planned), but no way in hell was I going to take on a full Thanksgiving feast. Instead I settled for a feast of Thanksgiving pies. Bring a pie, bring some whipped cream, let's eat, the kids can then play outside, done. In my honest, half-Mexican opinion (HA! Hi mom!), the kids don't really give a flying turkey about all the trimmings anyhow. Give them sweets and the chance to play outside and they're happy.

So that's what I did. I sent a flyer home; sign up to bring stuff, everyone invited, yadda yadda yadda. Guess who sent me a little note saying she'd be happy to help me in any way, just let her know, sounds fun, signed with a smiley face?! Yep. BM! Not only that, BM's son shows up on Monday all huggy and lovey dovey "Ms. Grumperini, you're the best teacher in the world." "Ms. Grumperini, I'm so happy I'm in your class." "Ms. Grumperini, can I have lunch with you today?"

WTF? Whatever. If BM wants to be in charge of setting up, slicing pie, serving it up, and cleaning up after, more power to her! So I called and sweet as Thanksgiving pie I said "Sure! Come help!" It was as if she'd never written that horrible letter just the previous week. Damned scorpion in cockroach clothing if you ask me. Ha. Best to know where they're at rather than have them fall on you in surprise. At least I know what I'm dealing with now, and I'm nothing if not an expert in the art of keeping your enemies closer.

What does this have to do with apple cider? Well, my contribution to the party was to be apple cider. 'Tis the season and all that. So I call the local grocery store to make sure they have it. Why wouldn't they? Who knows, I just make sure before I went.

Me: Hi. Just calling to ask if you have apple cider.
She: Apple cider?
Me: Yes. Apple cider.
She: Um... What do you mean?
Me: Uh.... Apple cider. Apple cider. What does she mean what do I mean?!
She: Like... in a box?
Me: In a box?
She: Yes. Apple cider powder stuff you add to water and....
Me: No. I want apple cider. Like apple juice, but instead apple cider.
She: Like juice? Um.... hold on.
Me: In a box? WTF?
He: Thanks for holding, can I help you?
Me: Yes. I'm calling to see if you have apple cider.
He: Apple cider?
Me: OMG. Yes. Apple CIDER. Like juice, but... more.
He: Hold on.
Me: OMG. Are you fucking kidding me? Is apple cider an east coast thing only or what?!
He: Thanks for holding can I help you?
Me: I'm waiting to find out if you have apple cider.
He: Oh, yeah, right, I think so. On an end cap on aisle 9.
Me: Thanks! (Yes I meant that sarcastically.)

So I went in and right there in fresh produce: APPLE CIDER. For crying out loud.

A lynching we will go

2008-11-23T07:57:00.009-07:00

The characters and who they were played by:

First year teacher - Me
Savior 1 - Mentor Teacher
Savior 2 - Principal
Savior 3 - Social Worker
Savior 4 - District Rep
Savior 5 - Special Ed Teacher
BM - Lyncher Wanna Be (don't ask me what BM means)
Lynch Mob - Parents riled up by BM
Concerned Parties - Other parents with legitimate questions and suggestions

BM Mom: My son is getting into trouble for ridiculous things. Why?
Me: It is little things. For example, this and such, but these things show lack of respect to teacher and fellow classmates and go against class rules that the kids set themselves.
BM Mom: I'm upset about it.
Me: I'm glad she's upset with him. Hopefully she'll talk with him and he'll stop these things.

The next day:
Savior 1: BM called me last night and complained about you for an hour!
Me: What?! What for?
Savior 1: She claims you are looking for ways to get her son in trouble, that you're mean and vicious to the kids, and when she called you to talk about it, she says you had an answer for everything and didn't apologize or give good reasons for getting him in trouble.
Me: Oh, so when she said she was upset she meant she was upset with me? Oops.
Savior 1: She says quite a few parents are concerned and I suggested they meet with the principal.
Me: OMG.
Savior 1: Don't worry about it. BM is a complainer and she can't be trusted. She's stirring up trouble and she always does.

The next day, meeting with Savior 2:
Savior 2: BM is stirring things up. I've decided the meeting should be opened up to all parents and they need to submit an agenda. This is a witch hunt. Any advice I have is the same I would have to all first year teachers, and you are doing great. Don't worry.
Me: I'm going to throw up.
Savior 1: You will do great, you have Savior 2 to back you up, and BM is just this way.
Savior 2: I suggest you have Savior 4 and Savior 5 observe your classroom this week before the meeting so we have data to back us up.
Me: I'm going to throw up.

The next day, Savior 4 and Savior 5 both observe my classroom:
Savior 4: I can't believe BM is doing this to such a great teacher.
Savior 5: BM is ridiculous.

After observations:
Savior 4: That was great. You have NOTHING to worry about.
Savior 5: I have suggestions, but it's obvious BM's child is disruptive and whiny.

The next day, yet another meeting with Savior 2:
Savior 2: BM wrote this letter.
Me: OMG.
Savior 2: Witch hunt.
Savior 1: There are some good points/ideas in here. Let's just address the concerns about homework, Spanish and classroom management at the meeting.
Me: She is attacking me personally.
Savior 1: Yes.
Savior 2: We won't let it get that far in the meeting.
Me: I'm going to throw up.

Day of the meeting:
Savior 2: Savior 3 will be attending the meeting to facilitate, mediate. She has some great ideas, please go see her.
Savior 3: I want you to write up what you'll say at the meeting. "I've heard your concerns and ideas, blah blah blah, this is how the classroom will now look, blah blah blah, here are the changes, blah blah blah."
Me: Ok, so Savior 2 will open the meeting, I'll read these things, then we'll open it up?
Savior 3: Yes. If they see/hear you've heard them, BM will have nowhere to go with her negativity and complaints.
Me: I'm going to throw up.
Savior 3: Just get your ideas and script on paper and find a way to relax before the meeting.
Savior 2: Just don't get drunk!
Me: I'm going to throw up.

At the meeting:
Savior 2: First year teacher, challenging job, give it time, give it space, make suggestions, communicate. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Me: Glad you could come. Here are my changes. Any questions?
Concerned Parties: That sounds great! Wow! That will really help!
Lynch Mob: What about this? What about that?

The meeting starts. We follow the agenda. After reading my statement there are additional questions and suggestions. BM tries to go the negative route but the Lynch Mob is no longer in the mood for lynching. They've gotten questions answered. Their concerns have been addressed. Changes will be made that help everyone, including me. The meeting adjourns. BM leaves, her blood lust unsatisfied. Her last comments to Savior 2 are about the next person on her lynch list, the building manager. Apparently he's not taking care of his staff and what are we going to do about it?

The end.

It was a hell of a week.

Stuart's having babies!

2008-11-18T14:58:00.007-07:00

Stuart is my agave in front of the house, and he is procreating a lot! Stuart? All my agaves are named after my BIL.

Rolls and coffee

2008-11-17T20:58:00.002-07:00

And by that I mean what Brother and I always make time for whenever I'm in town. Yum!

2008-11-16T07:41:00.001-07:00

Pretty!

Bloom baby!

2008-11-15T09:51:00.010-07:00

Weird perspective for a photo, but a photographer I'm not. I was just surprised that my "little" hibiscus was offering such gifts since the others only usually bloom in the summer. Besides the two and a half blooms you can see, there are three more just-about-to-bloom buds on the top of the plant! Maybe if I prune the big hibiscuses they'll explode in color too?

Pretty!

You want to teach what to who?

2008-11-14T19:21:00.003-07:00

I attended the group, panel interview for the summer school position teaching middle school math yesterday. There were 5 of us interviewing and a panel of 5 asking the questions. Tell us a little bit about you and your experience. Interviewee #1 - I teach high school math and have forever. Interviewee #2 - I teach 8th grade math and have forever. Interviewee #3 - I teach middle school math and have forever. Interviewee #4 - I teach high school math and used to teach middle school math. Forever. Me - I teach 2nd/3rd grade and this is my first year.

Anyone what to hazard a guess what my chances are of getting this position? Probably the same as my chances of passing that damned test last weekend.

And oh, at some point I'll tell you all about the parent who is complaining about me because I'm "mean to the kids." Especially her son, it seems, who can't possibly be doing anything wrong. God help me. I remember a time when all I had to do was make sure systems didn't stop working and bring a behemoth company to a screeching halt in one way or another.

Those were the days.

Earth to Grump!

2008-11-08T15:36:00.004-07:00

Ok, so I decided a while ago to sign up to take the AEPA for Middle School Mathematics and today was the day. That means I paid a lot of money to put myself through a 4 hour test to see if I can get certified to teach teenagers algebra. Um, yeah.

So there I am laying on the couch last night thinking over and over "Go to bed idiot, the test is at 8:00!" I didn't, and I was up WAY too late. I went to bed thinking, "Eh, I'll skip it; no big deal." But my body is used to waking up at the butt crack of dawn, so I woke up early enough to go.

I tossed it around right up until the last possible moment, and decided "whatever, if I pass, I pass; if I don't, whatever." So I jumped in the shower, pulled the hair up, made a quick stop at Mecca (otherwise known as Starbucks), and headed to the high school where the test was being given.

Parking lot full.

I actually made it into the building, walked up to the info desk and they informed me that I can't take my coffee into the test "but oh, you got time to enjoy it." Ok, so I stood there trying not to chug my coffee - which I kind of ended up doing anyway, and let me tell you, even if it isn't scorching hot, coffee doesn't translate into a shot like other libations - when she said "and I hope you brought a pencil."

Ooops. Nope. But she said maybe I could beg or con one off one of the people who likes to bring 12 with them "just in case." I saw one woman with like 24 pencils on her desk. Freak. I didn't ask her for one. I'm pretty sure she would have said something to the effect of "I can't spare a square."

Anyhow, with a stomach full of chocolate and peppermint syrups, steamed milk and whipped cream, the vague stirrings of a lack of sleep headache, and no pencil, I headed towards the testing room. I conned two pencils, found my seat, and got situated.

Front row. Of course. Ugh. Well, better than in the middle. But then everyone could see and hear that nope, I didn't bring two forms of ID, no I don't have the one I do have out and ready, yes I have a pocket full of kleenex; and yes, the pills you hear me shaking around are the 3 extra strength tylenol I need to take to get through this morning. Seriously, when will that invisibility super-power kick in already?

After what seems like hours of proctoring, the proctor says we can start. Oooh, yay, they provide the formulas! Volume of a sphere, volume of a whosamacallit, area of a weird shaped thingy, midpoint of a vector somethingorother, quadratic equations...this should be a piece of cake!

Thing is, I haven't done middle school math since middle school. When was that? Oh, yeah, 30 FUHUHUHUHUHKING YEARS AGO!? Perhaps I should have looked at the study guide? After 4 hours I barely finished the multiple choice section. I never made it to the essay question. Which is ok because I probably would have written "I choose moving company A which will charge me $50 an hour and mileage over company B who charges $40 an hour for 3 hours then goes up incrementally every hour after that because I'm so fucking tired and cross-eyed by this test (and conceivably by moving) that I don't give a flying fuck which company is going to get more money out of me because I'm so damned happy that someone else will be doing all the heavy lifting anyway." Which probably would have done nothing for my test score.

I should know how I did in a little over 6 weeks. Anyone want to hazard a guess?

Right or Civic Duty?

2008-11-05T05:34:00.004-07:00

I go over this a lot every election year because I keep hearing "it's our civic duty to vote." What in da hell does that mean exactly? I looked it up online to just make sure I understood it correctly, and what it said was that civic duty is "the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force." Um... what?

The entry also included a quote from John D.Rockefeller Jr that "every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty." I know many people agree with this; and just as many people say it's a civic duty to vote. I just don't agree.

The same source defines a right as "a freedom or power that is morally or legally due to a person." To me this makes more sense with regard to voting; the right to vote is a freedom and power we have as Americans. Another freedom, or right, we enjoy as Americans is the freedom of choice. Shouldn't it then be our right, our freedom, our choice to choose not to vote as well as our right, freedom or choice to vote?

I have a rebellious streak a mile long. Tell me it's my duty or my responsibility to do something and I won't do it. Make me care, however, and I probably will. But let me exercise my right to make my own damned choice and quit telling me what I have to do.

I feel better now

2008-11-02T17:22:00.004-07:00

Got most of my work done.

Still can't find my account number and don't feel that great.

Only two more days of election bullshit to go.

Will have to get up at butt crack of dawn to be at school by 5:15 a.m. or so to get the rest of my work done, but that's better than doing it all today. It's mostly all copying and laminating left anyway.

Mood is better than it was this morning. Guess that's what rolls and coffee will do for ya, even if you don't get to eat them with your favorite brother.

Argh

2008-11-02T08:13:00.002-07:00

Can't fuhuhuhuhking find my new fuhuhuhuhking account number.

Fuhuhuhuhking sinuses acting up again now that fuhuhuhuhking weather is changing.

Have way too much fuhuhuhuhking work to do.

Spend all fuhuhuhuhking day Saturday fuhuhuhuhking sleeping because I'm fuhuhuhuhuhuhking exhausted every week.

I'm not in the fuhuhuhuhking mood to work and I'm not in the mood for fuhuhuhuhking bullshit and everything is fuhuhuhuhking bullshit right now.

Fuhuhuhuhking economy sucks.

Sick to death of the fuhuhuhuhking election.

Need a fuhuhuhuhking roommate to afford my fuhuhuhuhking house because don't have secret rich relative who wants to give me money for no fuhuhuhuhking reason.

Generally just fuhuhuhuhking annoyed as shit.

That's what she thought?!

2008-10-30T05:57:00.003-07:00

The district rep who spent most of the day in my classroom on Monday sent an email to my principal letting her know how things went. When the rep and I talked, she said some great things that made me feel so much better about the job I am doing. And this is what she sent to the principal:

"Hi [Principal], I spent the day with [Grumperini] on Monday and boy, I can't say enough good things about her! She's doing such a marvelous job I asked her if I could maybe send teachers who struggle teaching multi age and/or dual languages to watch her! Below are the points [Grumperini] and I discussed after my day with her but I wanted to share them with you, too. I think with time and practice, [Grumperini] will become a master teacher!"

Wow. And whew!

I take it back...

2008-10-28T05:21:00.002-07:00

Well, only one thing I take back. The all day visit yesterday went very well. Somehow I managed to pull a well-planned, smooth, and engaging day (for the kids) out of my ass and I got very good comments and suggestions from the district rep who was there all day. Whew! I was stressed getting the day planned and prepared in the morning (got to school at 6:30 a.m.!), and it all turned out great. And it was a Spanish day! Whew.

If I could turn back time...

2008-10-26T20:11:00.006-07:00

... I would. There are so many do-overs I would take advantage of! Right now the one I wish I could cash in is to say "no" to the well intentioned all day visit tomorrow by the district rep who caught my 19th nervous breakdown. I really DO NOT want her there tomorrow. I LIVE for the breaks when the kids are in specials, lunch or whatever. Now I'll have to "accept help" when I could use that time getting shit done.

Parent/Teacher conferences are over. Some were good, some were ok, and two were just plain hell. Like I needed a parent or two to point out what I already know is not going well and therefore reinforce what I am already so acutely aware of - that I am incredibly unqualified and terribly unsuited for this freakin' job.

Seriously, what the FUCK was I thinking? I should have stayed at FM. I miss the job, I miss the salary, I miss the benefits, I miss what my old life was like (specifically that the job stayed at the job), I miss calling in sick whenever the fuck I wanted, I miss not worrying about money, I miss being provided with the materials to do my job, I miss not having anyone's future in my hands but my own!

This is one do-over I wouldn't think twice about. I'd take it and jump back to that day in February or March, 2005 and lie down until the feeling/idea about quitting/moving/going back to school passed. What the FUCK was I thinking?? How the fuck do I get a do-over??

Aaaack!

2008-10-21T06:36:00.003-07:00

Parent/Teacher Conferences. Aaaaaack.

This does not bode well

2008-10-20T05:46:00.004-07:00

I had a temper tantrum in the parking lot of Walgreens yesterday. Why? Because after paying a high copay for a prescription (I guess I should be grateful that I have prescription coverage at all now, but the old copay was quite a bit smaller and the salary incredibly higher), and buying three reams of paper (because who knows if there will be copy/printer paper available when I need it...I have to supply my own if I want to be able to do those things) I was PISSED when the stupid, flimsy, plastic bag holding these reams burst and everything came flying out. I mean, if I have to buy my own paper and go into debt paying my copays, the least one could expect is sturdier plastic bags, right?!

How's Lawrence Taylor?

2008-10-17T20:57:00.002-07:00

I really really REALLY wanted to ask. Actually I wanted to sneak up behind him in first class and whisper Lawrence Taylor in his ear and see what happened. I didn't of course. And then while waiting for our baggage I tried to come up with something less dorky than "Hi! You're Joe Theismann!" or "Hi! How do I say 'you're Joe Theismann' without sounding like a dork?" I couldn't come up with anything non-dorky, or that didn't involve LT, so I just didn't say anything. Do you think he has season tickets? I mean, his career was OVER, so I'd think he at least got season tickets out of it. (I mean after his TV announcer gig was over and he wasn't going to every game anyway.) And BTW, he isn't as handsome as I thought he should be. He's actually kind of thuggish looking. Thank god I didn't say "Hi! You're Joe Theismann! You're kind of thuggish looking. How's Larry?"

No boob poker next to me this time. Instead my flight BFF was Miles and he let me watch Wedding Crashers with him on his portable DVD thingy. He was nice.

I'm home now, the windows are open, my doggy is home with me, and I need some food. I leave you with this one thing. Jen Lancaster is my new higher power.

Sound it out...

2008-10-17T09:28:00.003-07:00

Sounding out new words... it's a viable way to learn. Right? Well thank GOD no one walked into my classroom the other day when I was helping a student, loudly, pronounce "dictionary." Sound it out... D...I...C... right, DIC...

And did I mention the poor 2nd grader who was annoying me on his birthday because he wouldn't stop playing with his balloon? It was tied to his chair (my damned fault for allowing such foolishness) and after being distracted by it the 100th time I cut the damned thing off it's ribbon, opened the classroom door, and let it soar into the sky before closing the door and announcing that maybe now we could get busy paying attention. Poor thing didn't say another word the rest of the day. So it worked.

I SO need to be in a classroom with older kids.

Ah... Fall Break

2008-10-13T10:58:00.022-07:00

Three days in and I feel relaxed and sufficiently away from teaching in both directions (past and future). It's the sweet spot of a week long vacation. I've just had a bowl of mom's delicious corn chowder, I beat her in cards, and am looking forward to an evening of niece and nephew... the perfect time to update the blog.

First, I have to mention the guy on my flight here. No, he wasn't handsome, no he wasn't interesting. What he was was annoying. He slept the whole way, which was good, but his damned elbow kept poking me in the boob every time he jerked in his sleep! Which was every freakin' 5 minutes! And he was stinky. And he had slicked back hair. Which has nothing to do with anything, but I was so annoyed that that just added to it. Stupid boob poker.

The last week of school before break was great. Short; therefore great. :) On Thursday we went on a field trip all day to the Mesa Southwest Museum (or Museum of Natural History - it's called both things), and we were gone all day. I just had to keep them entertained in the morning (coloring their favorite ice age animal that they already looked up online), and calm in the afternoon (reading). Friday was a half day for the kids. After the flag ceremony (ugh) and the assembly, the morning was mostly gone. I was able to leave by 2:30 after filling in all my report cards. (Who knows if I did them correctly, but they're done to the best of my ability. At least they were at that point. I'll probably have shit loads of work to do on them next week.)

Ah, next week. The start of a new quarter. Report Cards. Parent/Teacher conferences. I am SO not looking forward to those.

The last few weeks before break were... tumultuous. I couldn't shake my cold or sinus infection or whatever it was. I was feeling very overwhelmed and extremely cranky. I was on the verge. Literally. I was at my desk trying to get done in 15 minutes what I would have liked at least 1 hour to do when one of my colleagues came in, sub in tow, asking if I was going to the meeting. Um.... what meeting? The meeting! The math meeting with the district math coach. You know what meeting. I don't know what meeting, and no I'm not going. You have to go. I'm not going. But... you have to go. I AM NOT GOING. That break down we're always joking about? Here it comes, and I'm not going to any meeting. Um... ok... I'll... see... and he left.

A few minutes later another colleague came in. Ok, not just a colleague, my mentor, the one I student taught with, the woman who got me the job I have. Anyhow she came in and said "I know you're overwhelmed right now, but this is not a meeting you can just decide not to go to. This is a mandatory meeting per the principal." I don't have a clue about this meeting! Yes you do, it's been planned for weeks and we got three emails about it. I didn't get any emails. Yes you did. Um... no I didn't. But I dropped what I was doing, called the shocked sub, and got my ass to the meeting. 1/2 hour late, but I got there. Annoyed, mortified, overwhelmed and stunned but I got there.

The first colleague was in the office when I got there, trying to figure out what if anything he was supposed to do about the new teacher who was refusing to attend a mandatory meeting and the sub who was supposed to be handling her class. He looked surprised to see me, but said he "covered" for me and to just go on in; no one knew anything about anything. So I went in.

I probably looked like I felt. One teacher, who was annoyed that she had to attend this meeting, rolled her eyes at me to tell me it was a boring and/or useless meeting. I was just still annoyed, mortified, overwhelmed and stunned. So I had just sat down and settled in enough to calm my breathing to somewhat normal when the district rep turned to me and said "you're a brand new teacher, what is it you need?" Everyone turned to look at me. And I burst into tears. Sobs. And more tears.

I was horrified and shocked out of my mind. The more horrified and shocked I got, the more I cried and sobbed. Everyone else looked surprised too. That made me cry more. They got very sympathetic and tried to soothe me. That made me cry even more. By this time I had a mountain of Kleenex in front of me; which is surprisingly humiliating for some reason. Anyhow, I finally calmed down and made it through to the end of the meeting. Until she said she wanted to talk to me alone. I started to cry and sob again. Jesus Chris, it was awful.

Then the school secretary came in, apologizing profusely because of the email snafu that caused me to NOT get any of the email notifications about this mandatory meeting, and I started to cry harder. It was fuhuhuhuhuhuhking ridiculous. I just could not stop.

Eventually I did though, and strangely enough, the rest of my day went great. I had an uncomfortable conversation with my mentor that afternoon - she was sick of hearing about my "breakdown" and sick of the phone calls from concerned teachers who wanted to help me and more than likely sick of feeling like she wasn't doing her job as mentor (which she totally is!) - but the next day I felt even better, and the day after that even better, until eventually I felt like my old self again. Not sure how long that will last, but it's amazing what a little nervous breakdown will do for one's mood and outlook.

Anyhow, after all that, I've had offers of help pouring in. I feel much better, and the truth is, just like parenthood, I'm more than likely screwing something up. It comes with the territory. I need to just get over it. And now I'm on Fall Break, and I didn't bring any work with me. I only brought two silly novels that Sister recommended and I'm enjoying reading lighthearted fluff that has nothing to do with teaching.

I still don't know what the future holds career-wise - to teach or not to teach? But I'm fairly certain I'll make sure to schedule in a breakdown or two. Seriously, it worked wonders.

No time, no energy

2008-10-04T08:38:00.002-07:00

I think that says it all.